二、告喪與奔喪

人死之后，要將死信告知于眾，這叫告喪。帝王駕崩，朝廷派專使訃告諸侯和天下百姓;大臣去世，應(yīng)首先通報朝廷;平民死后，家人要告知親戚和鄉(xiāng)里鄰居。

古代喪禮對民間的告喪、奔喪和吊唁有許多規(guī)定。長輩死后，子女應(yīng)立即通知親朋好友。重要的親戚還要派專人或是孝子親自前往去告喪，一般則發(fā)書面訃告，該習(xí)俗一直沿用至今。如：

◆ 次早，著幾個家人小廝滿城去報喪，族長嚴(yán)監(jiān)生，領(lǐng)著合族一班人來吊孝。都留著吃酒飯，領(lǐng)了孝布回去。趙氏有個兄弟趙老二在米店里做生意，侄子趙老漢在銀匠店扯銀爐，這時也備個祭禮來上門。僧道掛起長幡，念經(jīng)追薦。趙氏領(lǐng)著小兒子早晚在柩前舉哀，伙計、仆從、丫鬟、養(yǎng)娘，人人掛孝，門口一片都是白。(吳敬梓《儒林外史》第六回)

The next morning servants went through the town announcing the funeral．Yen Chen-hsien，the leader of the clan，came with the other relatives to mourn，and they were kept to a meal and given white linen for mourning．The widow had a brother who worked in a rice shop and a nephew who worked the bellows for a silversmith，and they brought mourning gifts too．Buddhists and Taoists hung up long banners，chanted their scriptures and performed the funeral rites; while the widow and her little son wailed morning and evening before the coffin．All the stewards，men-servants and maidservants were in mourning，and thehouse and gate were draped in white．(楊憲益、戴乃迭譯)

◆ 一日到了都門，先奔入鐵檻寺。那天已是四更天氣，坐更的聞知，忙喝起眾人來。賈珍下了馬，和賈蓉放聲大哭，從大門外便跪爬進來，至棺前稽顙泣血，直哭到天亮喉嚨都啞了方住。尤氏等都一齊見過。賈珍父子忙按禮換了兇服，在棺前俯伏，無奈自要理事，竟不能目不視物，耳不聞聲，少不得減些悲戚，指揮眾人。(曹雪芹《紅樓夢》第六十二回)

And upon reaching the capital they went straight to Iron Threshold Temple．It was then the fourth watch and the watch-men，hearing them，aroused everyone in the place．Jia Zhen alighted and with Jia Rong wailed aloud，both advancing on their knees from outside the gate to where the coffin was resting，kowtowing and lamenting all the way．They went on wailing till dawn，but which time their voices were hoarse．

Madam You and the others all came to meet them．Then Jia Zhen and his son，having changed into mourning according to the rites，prostrated themselves before the coffin．However，since they had business to attend to which they could not ignore，they had to curtail their mourning in order to issue instructions．(楊憲益、戴乃迭譯)

【注】“稽顙泣血”：叩頭至地，悲痛哭泣。如有特殊原因不能奔喪，則應(yīng)寄物憑吊，居家服喪，表示對遠方死者的哀悼。為官者若逢親戚亡故，一般應(yīng)去職奔喪，若遭父母亡故，則必須離職歸家奔喪，否則被視為大逆不道，為世人所不容。

死者入殮下葬之前，得知死信的親朋好友應(yīng)攜帶“賻儀”(向辦喪事的人家送的禮)到其家吊唁。如果因為貧窮不能提供賻儀者，則幫助干活，以力相助。奔喪吊唁者至，死者的子女要分別在村旁、屋外叩頭跪迎。

民間對吊唁還有一些禁忌。人們對那些非正常死亡者，親朋好友一般不會去奔喪，否則會招致災(zāi)禍。另外，青壯年男子不宜吊唁年輕女子，年輕女子也不宜吊唁青壯年男子，否則會被視為“過情之舉”，受人恥笑。